


"Sounds like you really fucked up."

by Pocketsized_Kanaya_Maryam



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Multi, Other, Polyamory, enough sex to call it sex but not enough to call it smut, jokes about daddy kinks but not an actual daddy kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 00:39:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8776267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pocketsized_Kanaya_Maryam/pseuds/Pocketsized_Kanaya_Maryam
Summary: You know when you call your teacher "mom" on accident? It's like that... 
 
But much worse.Having assholes for partners doesn't help either.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It was so weird not using codenames help me. Anyway, I love these pieces of trash.  
> Watch as I notice a fuck up right after I post this oH WELL. Anyway, fuck proof reading I've read this enough times.

It was dark, probably about 3:30 in the morning. No one bothered to check their clocks on their phones. So long as Mason was home before 6:00 AM when Meg would wake up, everything would be fine. No suspicions. No issues. Just planning. No arguing. Wait, scratch that last one.

"It's a fucking dumb idea, Sam!" a skinny man who looked more like a Betty Spaghetti doll than a human being shouted as he flailed his arms.

Sam, in contrast, simply crossed his arms and glared at the thin man. "Isaac," he said, stern as ever because he was a fucking tight ass. "Mason can handle himself."

"That's not the issue!" The issue," Isaac gestured out the window of the building they were in. "Is that if he's on his own, he could get fucked up without us knowing!"

Sam simply rolled his eyes in response. "Like I said, Mason can handle himself."

"Mason," began the other man in the room. "Is right here and can argue for himself."

The other two bounty hunters reacted simply with shrugs.

"Well then, Mace, what do you think?" Isaac asked, annoyed. He prodded the shortest man in the room with his bony elbow.

With a sigh, Mason responded, "I think, for this mission, I can handle myself. We can work out some kind of short Morse Code for if something happens, and I can tap on my comm."

Isaac sighed dramatically. "I guess!" he said, clearly even more annoyed, as he threw his hands in the air and walked away.

Sam and Mason exchanged looks with one another. Without saying a word, it was clear they were both thinking the same thing: "Why do we love this fucking idiot?"

* * *

 

They sat in the limo, blazing down the highway. Isaac- no Felix, codenames- sat in the driver's seat with Locus and Siris in the back keeping an eye on the passenger who didnt exactly want to be in the vehicle. The trunk was full of things from the last job that they never had a chance to move.

"Well, that could've gone waaaaaaaaaaaay more fucked than that!" Felix proclaimed, proudly, yet still with semblances of bitterness.

Siris quickly quipped back sarcastically, "Nice of you to have so much faith in us."

"It's not _my_ fault everything looked stacked against us, Mace," Felix barely managed to get out his words before he heard a sigh from Locus.

"Codenames," he insisted.

Felix responded with nothing more than an eye roll.

Locus let himself smile lightly. "Told you dad could handle himself."

The limo stopped. Thank fucking Christ there was barely any traffic. A hand holding a cheap beer bottle was leaning out of the window of a passing car. "Asshole!" the very clearly drunk passenger shouted at them as the driver swerved around the limo.

"Why did you stop?" Locus asked, though, with his infliction, it sounded like less of a question, and more of a command. Siris simply stared at Locus, and Felix turned behind his chair, twisting his torso to look back as well. "What?" he asked again, with the same infliction.

Felix tilted his head. "Did. Did you just call Siris 'Dad?'"

Now despite how dark his skin was, Felix and Siris were sure they saw Locus's face turn as red as the three stop lights they had run to get where they are now. Felix, of course, decided the best way to react, was to laugh his fucking ass off. Locus tried to hide his embarrassment but it was obvious regardless.

Once he managed to get a hold of himself, Felix turned back to the steering wheel and began to drive again. "Fucking hell, Locus," he said through laughs as he shook his head.

* * *

 

Not two days later, Isaac, Mason, and Sam were all doing things that they probably would not have had done if Mason's children had been home (at the very least, not while they were awake). One of these things, involves Isaac being chained to a bed. If you asked Mason or Sam if it was for kinky reasons or just because they wanted to be assholes to Isaac, neither would know which the truthful response would be.

Mason had his hands on Isaac's waist. His face was in a place that his aforementioned children did not need to know his face had ever been. Sam was kissing Isaac on his neck, perhaps a bit rougher than he should have been, but Isaac wasn't complaining, so like hell he'd stop. Everything was fine. Everything was nice. Isaac wasn't being a fucking douchnozzle. Wait, scratch that last one again.

Isaac made sure to open his eyes and make notable eye contact with Mason. He started to smile and almost started laughing. "Daddy," he moaned. He barely managed to suppress the laughs as he moaned that out.

Mason let go of Isaac's waist and lifted up his head. Sam let go of Isaac's body. He stopped kissing him and, with the straightest face he could manage, Sam got out of the bed they were on and started to walk out of the room. Mason's face was red and he looked like he wanted to both glare at Isaac as well as laugh at what he did. He ended up doing the latter after a short moment.

"Saaaaaaaaaam," Isaac let out. "Don't be such a hardass it was a _joke_. I'll leave calling Mason 'dad' to you and his kids, and Meg, if she wants, _relax_."

Sam walked toward the bed again, his expression not changing at all.

"Oh," Isaac said, seriously. "I actually thought you'd've just stayed away unti-" the man was cut off by a punch to the side of his ribs. "Hey!" he yelled, clearly not expecting the reaction. "That fucking hurt, you piece of shit!"

"Guess he didn't like you calling me 'daddy,' Isaac," Mason said through light laughter.

Had Isaac's hands not been bound, he would have thrown them out in annoyance. "I'm hurt! And you're cracking jokes?" he teased. "Seriously though, Sam, that fucking hurt. If you're gonna hurt me while we fuck, at least hit me in a place that's not my fucking ribs."

Sam simply sighed. He picked the worst partners, didn't he?

"Was it worth it?" Sam asked, rolling his eyes as he got back into the bed.

"Abso-fucking-lutely. But next time you hit me? Do it sexier."

God fucking damn it Isaac. 

 

 


End file.
